Dark Side of the Cheese

Definition courtesy of Dr Lemuel Pillmeister (also known as Lemmy).

Addiction When you can give up something any time, as long as it’s next Tuesday.

lemmyThis may sound familiar. I have referenced this at least once before. It is one of the late Lemmy’s contributions to Nikki Sixx’s ‘The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rockstar‘.

There are a few words that have been drained of meaning from being thrown around too flippantly. Love, hate, depression, fuck (excusable on the grounds of incomparable versatility)…. Addiction is on this little list but despite the lack of social impact the word has now, it is often misunderstood and a lot of people throw the word around without understanding what addiction really is in any form. But then again, what do I know? Apparently you can be addicted to cheese. Not just in a psychological/behavioral nature either, but like a drug.

Cheese-Addiction

I didn’t start typing tonight because I had a bone to pick with cheese enthusiasts. It was just a thought that bloomed into a dairy-based idea.

I’d been thinking about the idea of addiction because I seem to be living on my phone at the moment with mobile games. I really don’t need to say why, right? I can’t seem to play games like these regularly and casually. If it’s regular play, I need to see progress. In the not too distant past, progress was measured by competitive play. Now, it’s measured in new entries in the Pokedex, or power levels and weekly results in Kingdom Hearts Ux.

I first started to be concerned  about a week ago when I made an active decision to put my phone away for awhile as I’d been playing for several hours in the house, and not to go out hunting Pokemon. I was lost for what to do. I couldn’t get myself together to write, I didn’t want to read or even move, and just lay on my bed for about an hour listening to music. In the end, I think I decided to catch up on Suits or something and did absolutely nothing productive in place of gaming. What was the point?

medalsThe second cause for concern was comparing medals with a friend last night. He went away for 10 days, and more or less always came out with me hunting. In the time he’d been away, I’d walked 110 kilometres, hatched 70 eggs and evolved about 60 Pokemon. He, nor any of my friends, have done nearly as much and I realised that this has become a real part of my daily routine. I don’t walk anywhere without it on!

I am trying to understand how these games are affecting my quality of life. I definitely feel healthier, and have barely noticed that I average 10k a day walking distance from doing barely anything before. However, the amount of concentrated work I do writing has suffered. I do still write (not quite daily) in one form or another, but when I look back and see how much I had done in my last sitting, it’s not as much as I’d want it to be (like I said, I’m all about progress).

I think that it has been seriously enabled by the fact all of my friends are doing it. That’s an understatement, everyone seems to be doing it. I’d say at least 40% of all the people I see in a day/night are walking around actively playing Pokemon GO at any time. I don’t think that I would have gotten so invested if it wasn’t so socially acceptable! I’m not trying to pin blame – I know what I’m like and all I needed was a little push.

So is a borderline (psychological/behavioral) addiction to mobile/video games less laughable than someone convinced their body will stop working without cheese input? (There is someone I made a habit of stealing cheese strings from: if you’re reading this and believe the above, then it definitely wasn’t Fred, and I’m not even sorry!). I don’t know. What I do know is that was enough to make me write something today. With this, my conscience has been cleared twofold.

 

P.S.: On the topic of Lemmy’s medical definitions, here are a couple more for your enjoyment:

CocainePeruvian Marching Powder. A stimulant that has the extraordinary effect that the more you do, the more you laugh out of context.
DepressionWhen everything you laugh at is miserable and you can’t seem to stop.

R.I.P Lemmy…

Listening To: New Maps of Hell – Bad Religion

Bad_Religion_-_New_Maps_of_Hell

Image Source: Google Images, Pokemon GO (screenshot)

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Non-Smoking Area (A Prisoner’s Diary)

_84581642_thinkstockphotos-481544266

Smokers mainly fall into two categories.

1) I need to smoke. I can’t give this up.

2) I can give up anytime – just so long as it’s next Tuesday.

I shamelessly admit to being in the latter party. I feel that I won’t bother to give up until I have a reason to, or at least some decent motivation that goes beyond financial benefit. However, sometimes a smoker is denied his/her fix. This can do strange things to a person.
7.35am

I’m awake in my friend’s house. I’ve been given instruction not to leave until midday as there are CCTV cameras likely being monitored and there are people in this house, myself included, who should not be here (the why of it is boring, so I’ll skim over that). As we were drinking until the early hours, I’m the first to wake up. I have to wait 4 hours and 25 minutes…

8.25am

Checked Facebook 4 times in 20 minutes… Pacing the kitchen in a vest and boxers, guzzling water. I’m too hot. Urgh….

8.40am

Sat with my feet in a shallow bath of cold water watching Netflix.

8.42am

There’s a tiny window open – could I smoke out of that? No I shouldn’t… Are there any windows to climb out of into blind spots? Fuck…

9.15am

I’ve run a full bath. I’m listening to ‘Merry X-Mas Everybody’ by Slade in the bath. This is Monday.

9.40am

I should give up smoking. Or maybe just cut down…

9.41am

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

9.55am

There’s an alarm going off outside. My mood advances to the state that would be best expressed by breaking something or knocking a small child’s ice cream from their hands… and I think I’ve used all of the hot water…. Whoops.

10.05am

Just found some expensive looking body wash. Looks a little too fancy for someone who still laughs at their own fart bubbles in the bath. What? That’s not me at all! And now I smell really good. Why am I telling you any of this?

10.09am

I want to smoke…. Getting out of this cold shitty bath….

10.26am

I think I’ve found a solution.

10.30am

Found my way into the drafty garage from the inside. Finally!

10.42am

Little bit of deodorant spray… and all better.


I’m still trapped for another hour and a half and no one else is awake, but I feel more human now. Well, as close as I get to human anyway. Thank you for killing my boredom and following through with my story of struggle, ingenuity and peril. I hope I slaked 5 minutes of your boredom too.

Listening To: Spooky Songs For Creepy Kids – Voltaire

spooky

Image Source: Google Images

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‘Born Anew’ – Lyrics Without Music

Just erase me, then, reanimate me. 

I’ve no stake here, I’ll take my leave dear,

Traverse the seas. Come fantasy

Farewell, adieu, I’m to be born anew.

Come now, I’ll show you how,

Won’t you see my world now?

 

Drain this mundane order, of its colour and its border,

And take my clear lure, for endless grandeur,

See dragon and tower, seek valour and power,

All mythic in kind, all born in mind,

What you leave behind, is what made you blind.

But with a sketch of the means, I will rule this dream,

And I will never wake, no, I will never wake, so…

 

Just erase me, then, reanimate me. 

I’ve no stake here, I’ll take my leave dear,

Traverse the seas. Come fantasy

Farewell, adieu, I’m to be born anew.

Come now, I’ll show you how,

Won’t you see my world now?

 

Come rain, come shine, I’ll make it mine,

I’m out to claim, all with no name,

With my heart on my sleeve, This dream I shall weave,

Without wings I fly, soar fantastic sky,

Jump without mind, leave it all behind,

 And with a sketch of the means, I will rule this dream,

And I will never wake, no, I will never wake, so…

 

Just erase me, then, reanimate me. 

I’ve no stake here, I’ll take my leave dear,

Traverse the seas. Come fantasy

Farewell, adieu, I’m to be born anew.

Come now, I’ll show you how,

Won’t you see my world now?

 

I’m awake now, so, it’s all real now,

I’ve escaped dear, I’ll never leave here,

Come search for me, in memory

Farewell, Adieu, I’ve been born anew,

Go now, I showed you how,

Won’t you find your world now?

As promised, I went back to the lyrics from the post a couple of weeks ago. They fleshed out a little darker than I envisioned, but I like how what I write often writes itself and have no complaints. I feel like I have got what I needed to out for this, and is further testament to a twisted mind living in fantasies. Feel free to let me know what you think. This will be the second creative written work I have shared since ‘Twisted’ back in March.

 P.S.: I must also drop a big thank you to JM (A Moderately Obnoxious Serb) for all of her encouragement and support in creative endeavors. If you haven’t already checked out her blog, I’d recommend it. 

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