I’m gonna lay down some straight thinking (talking on the inside, conveyed via a keyboard…. whatever!). I returned to my London abode earlier this afternoon, stuck on the Hamilton soundtrack and cleaned up a bit – turns out not having a full time job can bring out one’s inner-slob. I am dreading the rent due date, and finding that writer’s block and the inability to breathe are becoming more or less the same (both trigger some form of panic reflex). I have to reflect now on where I am heading and make a few decisions.
As it happens, freelancing is not an easy way to make a living (who knew, right?), and after a few upheavals and owning up to my situation I have had some options laid out for me. I decided that these could be left until after celebrating a close friend’s 21st birthday over the weekend. For a day at least, this seemed to have really helped me relax and clear my head. I then realised that this was one of life’s cheap tricks, and the reality was that I opened my mind up for someone/something/some-none-of-your-business to use as a playground. I’m not complaining, but it’s taken this long to get to writing something appropriate. This is why I am typing with as little ‘buffering’ as possible; from mind to screen.
So, isn’t the title slightly unjustified? Well, I would call it irony, and you can just deal with it.
So, the choices: bail out within the first 6 months of my venture; find a job that I will likely detest within a short period of time; go to university. I can explore all of these options, and intend to, once my mind starts playing ball again. I’m thinking about a foundation/integrated degree in either English or Journalism might be the way to go (I am sick of ‘not being educated to the appropriate level’ when I have all of the relative practical experience and more coming out my ass). It makes sense, and there’s always the option to teach. Hey kids, DON’T DO THIS!
Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. I’ve shared a little, and got the ball moving (not quite rolling, but moving). I think I’ve succeeded in not writing an entry fueled by any negativity or panic, so I’d call that a success. I’ve done the best I can at a time in which I find my head is in the clouds.
A lost soul dwells within a wandering mind and a restless body.
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