What’s This? What’s This?

Okay, Jack Skellington, I’ll take it from here – because this ain’t Christmas!

I have recently come into a vast fortune. This sounds great! I like putting a positive spin on things like this. What? This is pretty tame for becoming wealthy? Well, the fortune I have been blessed with is measured in days, hours, minutes….

Why do I have so much time all of a sudden? I decided to take a liberating journey of self-discovery and meditate life’s lessons, drink the vino de vida…. I’m sorry, you can’t see it but I can’t do this with a straight face. That’s another one of those “positive spins” I mentioned earlier. Let’s be real: I left my job this morning.

I left the office at 9:30am this morning, and just stopped on Vauxhall Bridge, looking at the Thames and the thought that I’ve been drowning for weeks (months) cleared everything else from my mind: ‘What are you doing, man?’

Still reading? Well, damn, I didn’t think we’d all get this far.

Now for me, when a single thought pushes everything else aside I don’t have a lot of choice but to listen. It’s also a blessing, because one of my biggest problems is unscrambling the thought transmission my in-mind radio cranks out, and a clear signal is easier on the inner ear than every channel turned to 11 at once.

I swear, I have a point – I wouldn’t have much of a story to share if I just gave you an ending right?

I’ve known I have a very creative mind since I was in my early teenage years, and although I used to live for writing, drawing, music and riddles, I look back in despair now as I come to terms with the fact that becoming an adult has mercilessly stamped these joys out of me. I know now that whilst I was busy making a living on my own, keeping my head above water and managing a growing portfolio of life problems that I lost my grip on my creative outlets, but now here I am looking out on the Thames, and all the time in the world to revisit my old pleasures.

I’ve been keeping a journal – mainly because I moved to London a few months ago and I didn’t really know anyone, but also to try and hone in on an ‘in-mind radio station’ so I’m not constantly fighting a static blurry of thoughts and feelings all the time.  When you put pen to paper, or fingers to keys, it is easier to figure out where you’re at and open up to yourself. Tricky when you have demons that need no such invitation, so I best balance the scales – this is where you come in (you’re still there right?). So with all this time, let’s start scrawling for something. My demons are more likely behave in the public eye (I think).

I said that I had a point didn’t I? Well, we are nearing the end of the Prologue you could say (we are approaching termination point, please prepare to disembark, don’t leave any personal belongings, yada yada yada).

The conclusion I have come to is that I am actually going on a journey. I am going to branch out everyday into new music, new places and new experiences –  and maybe find a way to pay the rent. That’s important, right?

I won’t keep you any longer, you have people to see, things to do (or people to do, things to see, your call!) – but please, join me for a tea party over the coming days to share in discoveries and time expenditure. I have to spend that fortune after all, so come help me spend it.

Image Source: Google Images

For more, follow me @ajexmi (Nobody Musings)




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